The Soundtrack

Through the years I wondered what I would do with the countless pieces of my shattered dreams. My own desires, my own wants, my own passions. The title of this blog in its entirety is "It's mine, Let me have it!" That should tell you something! I wanted my own everything - that came to nothing. 

Yes, they (desires, wants, passions) came to nothing. ALL of them.  And over the years I have been trying to understand where I "lost the plot" and true to life, there has not been a shortage of people telling me "where it all went wrong" and how I can "get it to work my way." None of it has worked clearly.

Well it didn't go wrong so I am learning. God simply has other plans for me, that are better than my own. I accepted that a few years ago but maybe I did not quite understand it all. I have an idea of what those plans are and though I do not have the full details as yet, I know they will come to pass. Through prophecy and dreams, God's has been revealing His plans for me little by little, in bite sizes... And how different from mine they are!! 

Mine were just that - mine and maybe incorporating few other people dear to me. But His have more than just me in mind. At times I feel impatience threatening to reign, wanting the whole man size portion, but I remind myself, these are not mine, they are His and I accepted.

I have been fine with  "mere acceptance". But for sometime now the only word that has been resonating in my spirit is surrender! Surrender, surrender. So I did, hands in the air, knees to the ground, face to the ground, whole of me to the ground, however I could gesture it, I surrendered. 

Its a different currency that the things of God operate with. In the world, some would call all this defeat, conceding loss. But in the spirit, I know I am set for gain. What is there to lose by surrendering to the Almighty God, who created the whole universe? Great, Mighty, Terrible God who is Wonderful at the same time? I surrender all to you Mighty God for you are the extraordinary strategist. My life and times are in your hands. Yes, till you return or call me home. All of me is Yours.

What brought this post upon? I just had a desire to write my thoughts down whilst reading 2 Samuel. David wanted to build a house for God. But God's response was  

8 So now say this to My servant David, Thus says the Lord of hosts: I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, to be prince over My people Israel.

9 And I was with you wherever you went, and have cut off all your enemies from before you; and I will make you a great name, like [that] of the great men of the earth.

10 And I will appoint a place for My people Israel and will plant them, that they may dwell in a place of their own and be moved no more. And wicked men shall afflict them no more, as formerly

11 And as from the time that I appointed judges over My people Israel; and I will cause you to rest from all your enemies. Also the Lord declares to you that He will make for you a house:

12 And when your days are fulfilled and you sleep with your fathers, I will set up after you your offspring who shall be born to you, and I will establish his kingdom. 2Samuel 7:8-12 Amp

 Mmmmm David meant well, very well. He wanted to do something for God. But God ever so comfortingly said no, I will instead build a house for you. Never mind the reasons why and the developments later on. 

The focus right now is the will of God over my own will. This teaches me that sometimes no matter how noble my own desires are - they are not what God desires for me. I can use barrels of ink to write about this but let me just "put a comma" by quoting a poem, "Treasures" written long ago. I am not sure who wrote it. Some say it was written by William Cowper while others say Martha Snell Nicholson.
 

One by one He took them from me,
All the things I valued most.
Until I was empty-handed;
Every glittering toy was lost.

Then I walked earth's highway grieving,
In my rags and poverty;
'Til I heard His voice inviting:
Lift your empty hands to me.

So I held my hands toward Heaven,
And He filled them with a store
Of His own transcendent riches,
'Til they could contain no more.

Then at last I comprehended
With my stupid mind and dull,
That God could not pour out His riches
Into hands already full.

I feel like this poem was written just to be the soundtrack to my life. Before I get emotional, cloudy-eyed and squeaky-voiced let me just say, "Lord, I lift my empty hands to you."