Mean, Mean, Mean Bite!

I wrote this in 2008. I felt chained, bound and blindfolded. But my mind was free. So it took me places. Places I hope my weary flesh will follow to, as I trudge on ...

You choose to hate me
I respect you for that
You choose to curse me
I respect you for that
You choose to insult me
I respect you for that
I respect you, I respect you ...

I would have never known
How it feels to be worth less than the ground we walk on
Because of you, now I know
I would have never known
How it feels to be hungry
Because of you, now I know
I would have never known how it feels to be poor
Because of you, now I know
I respect you
Because of you, no one can call me weak
Because of you, I know real strength

When I'd come home to the echo
Of me cold room
I was strong
Because I had a place to call home
When hunger rumbled in my tummy
I was strong because
I had a cup of coffee
When I walked for hours
Till I broke a sweat
I was strong because
I had a pair of shoes
I was strong
Because I had the strength to walk
When the cold bit my cheeks every morning
I was strong,
At least I had gloves for my hands

Because of you, I know the worth of tears
Never to be wasted
You made me cry
But the last time I cried
Was the last
Never again
Why?
Because of you, I AM STRONG

As I was writing
You were sitting across me
Yes, one of your evil meetings
I sat there, looked at you
The emotion just rose within me
Why?
Because its so strong
So fresh
Its almost revolting

My GOD (my bones)...My GOD (my bones)...Psalm 22:14

Psalm 22:14 Amplified Bible (AMP)

^"I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax; it is softened [with anguish] and melted down within me."

My God my God why have you forsaken me? That is the cry of my heart yet somewhere underneath my seemingly shredded bone marrow my heart knows You are there, My joints are out of place Lord, the scales lack balance. Pain has the upper hand. I am sinking, the tunnel is deep, dark and never ending. I know You are there and You will never leave me nor forsake me but I am tired oh Jehovah. I am tired my Father. Save me oh God! I am tired, I feel it even in my sleep, my joints are rebelling, they are out of place. My flesh is weary, my mind is numb and threatening to divorce me, my bones cannot... my bones...my bones. Its as if the inside of my bones has been shredded, pounded, crushed... until when My Father..until when Jehovah? Save me oh God for I do not know myself anymore. I have been blended with pain, intertwined with disappointment, joined together with despair...The taste of tears shatters my tattered heart.