Only In Retrospect

Riddled with bullets? 
Spiritual? Physical? 
One or the other?
Both? 
Limping, dragging but forging on nonetheless
The tranches...I had heard,,,
Now I was seeing, feeling
Ten times more in the spirit
Oh I am connected? Even the physical feels it

Why do I feel this way?
I know they are deceptive
But I feel them nonetheless
Why do I think the One I'm running to
Is the One wounding me?
Why?
Am I even "allowed" to think this way?
No, please don't read my thoughts
The quandary!

Am I the only one? Where are the rest?
Hands lifted high, praising
On their knees, tears biting
Worshiping 
Am I a sore thumb?
Giving it my all
Indeed You alone...but my wound...
What of my wound? Bind it up for me
I know You can do it
<Only a little while My child>

Huh?
Where to run to?
Who to cry to?
Alone in a pond full of fish
Why?
These fish don't get it
Swimming with the tide
Insignificant tide?
I don't know, forgive me
I am not myself
I am wounded..right?

No one has wounds?
Agh! Forget you lot!
I am tired of hiding my wounds
This closet is dark and stuffy
My wounds need air and sunlight
Energy..Infinite

Though I think You wound me
You give sunlight and air for my wounds
Energy..infinite
This circle isn't vicious
It is a circle of LOVE
A different kind of love

<Only in retrospect will you see LOVE My child
For now you see wounds, wounds, wounds
I LOVE you
Be still and know that I AM God>

Get it?